David Thomson.
While I've actually spent a good amount of time reading esoteric nonsense (god damn Kant), banging my head against the contrived walls of literary criticism, I've also enjoyed little stories like this one(in the comment).
Beauty. The story becomes even more random, but I'm sobering up and tired of typing.
6 comments:
“He said: ‘Long ago and a long time ago it was; if I was there then I wouldn’t be here now, I’d have a new story or an old story,, or maybe I wouldn’t have any story at all. Even if I were to lose only the back teeth or the front teeth or the teeth farthest back in my head—there was three brothers of the Kanes. And there was a smith in Ireland and he had a cow named Glas Ghaibhne. She had as much mild as twenty cows, but there had to be a man watching her from morning to sunset because she was under a spell. Any man would guard her from morning to sunset would be given a sword for his pay. But it took a good man to guard her, for every day that she was feeding she would travel sixty miles, eating a good bite here and a good bite there, and going hither and over, and wherever she went he must never go before her, nor hold her, nor stand in her way, but follow her always, thirty mile outward and thirty mile homeward the day she walked least. She was the best cow that ever was in Ireland before or since. Well, there was a youg fellow of the Kanes there, and ‘I’ll guard her,’ says he. So he guarded the cow till night and the smith gave him a sword. His brother was as good a man as he and he went the next day and guarded her till night and the smith gave him a sword. ‘I’m as good a man as ye,’ says the youngest brother, but when he went to guard her he slipped his foot and in a moment the cow was gone.
‘Now,’ said the smith, ‘I’ll give you a year and a day to find the cow Glas Ghaibhne.’
The three brothers set out in their ship and sailed over the sea till they came to a strand like the one below the house here, very far from home. There was a man on the strand and he building a fence to keep out the sea.
‘Well,’ says the youngest of the brothers Kane, ‘That’s a foolish work you’re at.’
‘It’s not a bit more foolish than what you’re at,’ says the man. ‘I am under a spell by the man that took the cow. The name of that man is Balor Beimeann, and he has one eye in the middle of his forehead. And if you want to get the cow you must eat seven years’ butter with three sorrel leaves and seven years’ meat. You must lie with three hundred dark-haired women and three hundred red-haired women and three hundred fair-haired women, and have children by them in nine months’ time.
‘That’s a terrible number of children.’ Says Kane.
‘Well,’ says the man who was building the fence, ‘those nine hundred women are the guardians of Balor Beimeann’s daughter up there on the hill. He doesn’t let anyone visit her, but if you can at all you must go to her, for no one will ever kill Balor except the son of his daughter, and ‘tis only by Balor’s death that I will ever be free.’
‘Very well,’ says Kane to him. ‘I’ll go to Balor’s daughter if I can. But never mind these other women,’ says he.
‘You will go first to Balor’s daughter,’ says the man. ‘She will be pleased with you and like you. But you must treat all these other women the same way or they’ll tell Balor that they saw you there.’ ‘Don’t worry says he. ‘ I’ll give you a belt to wear and you’ll be as good after the last woman as after the first. Bring all these children to me.’
Kane stayed on this island for the nine months until each of the women had a child, and the daughter of Balor on the hill had a son. He brought the children to the man on the strand; found him there still making his fence. Very well, when he brought them to the strand, the son of Balor’s daughter surpassed all the children in strength.
‘Take him home with you,’ says the man on the strand. ‘When you go out with the children into the deep sea, throw the whole lot of them out but keep the daughter’s son. His name will be Lui of the Long Arm and tis he will kill his grandfather Balor Beimeann.’
‘When Kane took the children out into the deep sea, he opened his cloak and every one of them fell into the sea. And they were turned into a school of seals. So that’s how seals came to be.’ Patrick Sean looked at Michael the Ferry.
‘It is of course,’ said MIckael the Ferry.”
Excerpt from David Thomson’s The People of the Sea
Well, I'll be damned. I always thought seals were just baby walruses. I've I ever "lie" with 900 women, regardless of their hair color, I'm sure that I too will have to dispose of the by-product, or a certain percentage thereof. I'd probably shoot my bastard children into outer space.
If, not "I've."
Ok my friends. I'm going to call you this weekend to set everything up. I'm thinkning the 11th,12th and 13th.
Why when I walk around this campus do many people smirk, chuckle and shake their heads? Does it have anything to do with the dark hole that is my memory of last night?
So I tried calling everyone from my dorm phone but got only messages. I'll have to try this on the blogg or via email.
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