sooo, i got pretty drunk in ithaca this past weekend. both friday and saturday nights. On Friday night I passed out around 1am. i completely missed the gay a capella singing in the parking garage that always happens after the Spring Fever show. Saturday night, i missed sake bombs and hanging out on a rooftop spying on a kid getting a blowjob from a fat chick through an open window.
what the hell happened to me. now before you say "girlfriend, matt, girlfriend is what happened to you." you should know that both nights (!) Liz was trying to get me to stay awake and hang out.
I am only 25 years old. Jesus. What the hell is happening to me.
3 comments:
I don't know dad. Sounds like you're getting old. Might have to start calling you grandpa.
I think it's the succubus. Some how, though it is not at all clear how, she is clearly responsible. If only at that key moment, the "tipping point" if you will, you had the balls to stand up, point your finger in her direction, and firmly state "get out of my bed poontang before you suck my life dry" then none of this would have happened. that said, I can also confirm that not only is Liz a better drinker than you, but she has also better demonstrated her superior ability to "hang out".
Maybe you just need a new liver? You could probably get one from a big for cheap. While you're at it, you should get some pig balls too. that would probably also help.
OK I'm done.
Jesus. When Cooter lets loose, it's like chernobyl all over again.
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