Hard Choice

It's a little unclear which one I dislike more - the barista or the woman who finds the whole thing "frightening".

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2008/05/20/jung.bikini.coffee.king

This is what happens when I go online to find out the election results.

Local band out of Colorado. Pretty cool song.

http://www.universalmusic.com/premiere-play/Flobots/Handlebars/1534502575

Scrabulous

Heard about this on NPR on friday.

Fuck Grapefruit

"Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts."

Just in time....

just what we all need, a device to allow us to be depressed about the woes of the world in real time

Grays Harbor Paper

One interesting man's vision of a sustainable community, revolving around a paper factory:

http://www.greenbiz.com/news/reviews_third.cfm?NewsID=36519

Also some interesting facts on paper, for example:

According to the EPN's State of the Paper Industry report published in early 2007, paper accounts for 25 percent of landfill waste, the largest single component. It's also a significant contributor to climate change. Forty-two percent of the industrial wood harvest goes to make paper. Nine percent of total manufacturing carbon dioxide emissions come from pulp and paper manufacturing, with the majority stemming from the energy production needed to power pulp and paper mills.

"We don't think about paper, we don't think about printing -- it's about 6 percent of our GDP," said Don Carli, a senior research fellow at the Institute for Sustainable Communications.

Think about that the next time you print one of my blog posts.

And the winner is... (drum roll please)

Exactly who they thought it was 400 years ago! Thanks for wasting our time conspiracy theorists!

This is just like my life

Except instead of a woman in the tree with me I just have a smelly space monkey.

Bloggy Blog Blog

I've finally set aside a couple hours to catch up on blogging and have the following thoughts and discussion topics:

1. What's up with those Circ du soliel rejects. I hope they have day jobs. They should put a generator on that hamster wheel and do something useful with their lives. God damn Hippies. I bet Tyrona loves that smut.

2. Presidential canidates compare themselves to Jebus because everyone loves Jesus, except for people whose votes they don't care about like us and Europeans. Once we get rich and have children we'll get all religious and love candidates that love Jebus. As one politician once said, "if English is good enough for Jesus it's good enough for me". I think the same applies to pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. What do you think?

3. The Hubble telescope is a fascinating and enlightening tool of science. At least they found the error quickly and were able to syphon funds from some program for the poor quickly and repair it. It's not like it veered off course after traveling through space for two years and died a firey death because of the metric system. Further proof that the metric system was devised by satan to tempt us with efficiency, while Jesus clearly loves standard units.

4. Ropes are also very useful. I think street cats are pretty hardcore, whereas mountain lions live the easy life eating rabbits and drinking moonshine.

5. Hmmm... Bananas. The only thing I can say is you should buy less bananas, eat more or learn to make bananabread.

6. I thought of all of those already, but thanks for posting!

7. I only made it half way through the preview so I'm not sure I could make it through the movie. You should all see I am legend and No Country for Old Men. That way when you call me to catch up we'll have something to talk about because, no, I have not caught the latest episode of Entourage. Speaking of Cormac McCarthy, I'm reading Space Monkey's copy of Blood Meridian which he made me read. You should all read it too, and we could start a book club! The description of the Apache's riding across the plane before killing everyone and their horses is pretty great! Sorry I meant "vivid".

8. I have no comment on the fat guy with the books.

9. Christine! Ha! At least you got a second date. I've said it before and I'll say it again - avoid girls with cats.

10. Booze! Booze! Yesssss!

11. Ummmmmmmm......

12. Uhhhh....... 1977 should stay where it belongs. At least the bad part. Remember Led Zeppelin. Those guys rocked. Anyone make it to the reunion? I bet it rocked! "Page dispensed power chords like an aged Thor lobbing down thunderbolts for kicks." Sweet! Hit me, hit me!

13. Sarah Dobson wins the prize for being the first Norah Jones knock off. We need some music that rocks like Kings of Leon. Sure, you can't hear what they're saying half the time but it's rock and roll baby! Hold on tight.

14. I'm tired

15. Polluting the world is bad we should stop doing it. Fortunately, we won't have to worry about the ozone layer anymore once we cover space with solar panels and bombard the earth with microwaves. Cancer be gone, just in time too!

Happy Holidays! Buy my book!

From Conrad's The Shadow-Line

“All my moral and intellectual being is penetrated by an invincible conviction that whatever falls under the dominion of our senses must be in nature, and however exceptional, cannot differ in its essence from all the other effects of the visible and tangible world of which we are a self-conscious part. The world of the living contains enough marvels and mysteries as it is—marvels and mysteries acting upon our emotions and intelligence in ways so inexplicable that it would almost justify the conception of life as an enchanted state. No, I am not firm in my consciousness of the marvelous to be ever fascinated by the mere supernatural which (take it any way you like) is but a manufactured article, the fabrication of minds insensitive to the intimate delicacies of our relation to the dead and to the living, in their countless multitudes; a desecration of our tenderness memories; an outrage on our dignity.”

Maybe not one for the whole family, but

looks like one for us:
http://www.wristcutters.com/

Irregardless

"It is a text-based Chuck Norris, roundhouse-kicking everything else in the dictionary into submission. "
Irregardless of your perfunctory tasks today, you should check out this article: http://crave.cnet.com/8301-1_105-9796217-1.html

Life

You know how they say "life's what happens while you're making plans"? (I hate those people)

I think I'm going to start saying "Life's what your missing while you're checking your email." (I hate myself)

O

Thou Shall Watch This

I like big butts

"women asked what they'd want if they could have any beauty treatment were three times more likely to choose vaginal lip trimming over buttock implants"

I learn something new everyday.

Slates slideshow history of the derriere:

A history of the buttocks, in pictures (of course)

Yukon Ho!

You can see more wacky beauty: http://www.flickr.com/photos/13701559@N04/

Who's this guy think he is?

Applications for biogeochemistry

There is a use for what Iʻm studying. Iʻm working in the lab of the professor from CSU. Unfortunately, the best application for my work is to track down dirty pot smoking hippies. Oh the irony......

What's worse than going to your ex's wedding?

Learning your Ex's pregnent.

Whats' worse than, learning your Ex's pregnent?

Finding out she had the baby and named it Ty.

God damn Ty.