Maybe not one for the whole family, but

looks like one for us:
http://www.wristcutters.com/

Irregardless

"It is a text-based Chuck Norris, roundhouse-kicking everything else in the dictionary into submission. "
Irregardless of your perfunctory tasks today, you should check out this article: http://crave.cnet.com/8301-1_105-9796217-1.html

Life

You know how they say "life's what happens while you're making plans"? (I hate those people)

I think I'm going to start saying "Life's what your missing while you're checking your email." (I hate myself)

O

Thou Shall Watch This

I like big butts

"women asked what they'd want if they could have any beauty treatment were three times more likely to choose vaginal lip trimming over buttock implants"

I learn something new everyday.

Slates slideshow history of the derriere:

A history of the buttocks, in pictures (of course)

Yukon Ho!

You can see more wacky beauty: http://www.flickr.com/photos/13701559@N04/

Who's this guy think he is?

Applications for biogeochemistry

There is a use for what Iʻm studying. Iʻm working in the lab of the professor from CSU. Unfortunately, the best application for my work is to track down dirty pot smoking hippies. Oh the irony......

What's worse than going to your ex's wedding?

Learning your Ex's pregnent.

Whats' worse than, learning your Ex's pregnent?

Finding out she had the baby and named it Ty.

God damn Ty.

"Got some change...

for a crack rock and some ice cream? Ok, forget the ice cream." Said to me today in Boulder. Silly hippies.

Well, the goddamn Sap isn't going to boil itself

China is always one step ahead of us

China's giant panda centre sees profit in poop

Orcas Island

I blew off job hunting today and went to Orcas island. In Puget Sound, it's about two hour's north of Seattle. I biked up and down breathtaking shores and checked out some starfish and jelly fish as I bobbed around in a kayak. The lady who rented it to me for 18 bucks an hour was this fat, gray, wrinkled, short, happy, hippie/packrat kind of lady whose lawn was full of sea junk, kayaks, odd wood things, lawn sculptors, and many other things we would gladly burn or launch at a school bus. When I kayaked back to her shore, I thought she was a rock in the water, then she popped fully up, clad in a bulging wet suit(perhaps an 18 wheeler's worth of rubber), with a shit eating grin and said she just lost dinner. A massive grab escaped her puggy fingers. She said to just put the money in the wooden box with the label "money box" on top and to take change that I needed. She was still in the water as I opened the box, and I thought about taking the few bucks change. Needless to say I never filled out a waiver or gave her a credit card. I guess she did have my bike if I decided to paddle back to Seattle.
I do think it should be Orca's Island not Orcas.

Get Fuzzy

I said, "Are you guys liberal?" and she goes "Yeah" so I went "Listen, Babe, Call back later, because the guy who lives here will throw more money at you than a Democrat at a gay atheists bake sale."

Words to live by

Aberration:
Ab·er·ra·tion Pronunciation: "a-b&-'rA-sh&n
1 : a departure from what is right, true, correct, etc.
2 : a deviation from the normal or the typical
3 : mental derangement or lapse
4 : Astron. a small apparent change in position of a heavenly body, caused by the orbital motion of the earth and the motion of light rays from body
5 : Optics a) the failure of light rays from one point to converge to a single focus b) an error in a lens or mirror causing such failure
6 : an aberrant individual (Spacemonkey, Harvey)

Antinomy:
an·tin·o·my Pronunciation: an-'ti-n&-mE
1 : a contradiction between two apparently equally valid principles or between inferences correctly drawn from such principles
2 : a fundamental and apparently unresolvable conflict or contradiction (antinomies of beauty and evil, freedom and slavery, work and beer, marriage and hanging out, Aj and nice people, Tim and buying a ring, Matt and phone conversations, Ty and motivation, Dan and Harvey, Jim and a pot of boiling water, Chris and mean people, Vinnie and ugly girls, Ryan and polite society, -- Stephen Holden)

Nintendo?

I started laughing as I applied to this job. I think I just did it, but I'm not sure; it seems so goofy. You should see how my cover letter connects my literay passions to the "infinite creative possibilities of the gaming world." Chris would kill me if got paid write and edit video scripts, manuals, and actually play them. Look at the third bullet on the list.

Nintendo Writer/Editor:

Description of Duties:
-Provides input regarding localizing game content
-Writes, proofs and edits game text, game scripts, instruction manuals, package copy and game summaries
-Tests and evaluates games and products and makes recommendations regarding design and content
-Monitors the progress of Nintendo and licensed products
-Assists other NOA departments with videotaping game play and taking screen shots, providing games, demonstrating games and participating in interviews
-Makes decisions and recommendations regarding localization and text content for games, manuals and other copy
-Up to 10% domestic and international travel

Employed!

For better or worse, I'm once again gainfully employed. I'm the new Inventory Coordinator for a women's clothing company called Fresh Produce based out of Boulder. Sounds boring, but I think it could be a pretty cool job. They're planning on growing a bunch, and I can kind of make the position what I want.

Chilling in a Random Coffee Shop in Idaho

Al Bundy once said, "Lets put all the pregnant women in a state no one is using, like Idaho. We'll call it PregnaHo."
I've been to the south of PrednaHo to climb, and I felt that he was mostly right. Besides some great rocks, the place is barren. Now I sit in laughter and tears in the North and I may feel differently. Driving along 90, I was impressed by the mountains, vegetation, and massive lake. Then I stopped in Coeur d'Alene to see a movie, drink some coffee, and chill after driving many long hours alone. The little town at first seemed quaint and fun, but as I walked among the people wearing cologne and gold and the shinny BMWs, I began to feel like I was in some even more yuppy (is that possible?) version of Martha's Vineyard. Last night I sat on a bench and watched a strange variety of rich white people on vacation from nearby cities. It's on a large lake and seems to be a "summering" place for the upper class. I couldn't even find a bar I felt comfortable enough to enter to have a beer. Odd.
Al may not have known about this place, but I'm sure he'd still like to send all the pregnant women here.
On a much more jubilant note, Glacier National park is skewered by immense stark mountains. Sure I expected the glaciers (which were a little smaller than I had hoped), but I did not expect the beautiful spires of rock. I hiked a rather brutal 9 mile climb to Sperry Glacier and was blown away by the turquoise ponds that form from melting ice with snow and ice trapped underneath the water. Who claims ice always floats?

Dedicated to Mr. Prince of Pee

Cause he's a dork and likes the flute.