Cornell Men's Basketball

Ty and I are probably the only ones who care, but our Men's Basketball team is really good this year. They are number 27 in the ESPN/USA Today poll this week.

a cappella reaches new depths in the valley

This one's for dad. I have to admit I think this is pretty funny:

Monkey Sex

"So it's time to go break up with your banker and get the hell out. Go to MoveYourMoney.info and see just how easy it is to end your abusive relationship and find true banking love. Or, at least hot, sweaty, monkey, banking sex."

Bill Maher on HuffingtonPost.com

Rodin

Okay, You all know I often ring my own bell. Yes, I'm a shameless show-off. But, this time I'm not really trying to show off. AJ, Dan, and everyone here capture mages in a box better than I, but I think I'm improving. Maybe it's just because Rodin can't be ruined or maybe it's the beer, but I think these are good. Tell me what you think. Honestly. Say they suck, and I'll feel more grounded. I'm used sucking with cameras like footless man at soccer.

This last one is the "Gates of Hell." (That's where the party is. Meet ya there.)

This man can sure shuck an oyster...

American Geophysical Union

yes, we are dorks, but at least we talk about science while double fisting beers.

Dudes are shameless

Moon water?

Water on the moon? Can someone explain?

" Having an abundance of water would make it easier to set up a base camp for astronauts, supplying drinking water and a key ingredient for rocket fuel."

water in rocket fuel? can we dehydrate fuel? That's totally cool if it's true. Can one of you nerds explain?

Quit your whining and check this out

This site has a ton of cool stuff like this.
http://www.good.is/

Nerdtastic

Timmay

Happy birthday freakishly tall man.

Swine Flu

Penny Arcade

Bath Water

Example of Format Change

For example, this would have either had to be sized too small to read under the old format, or would have had the side cropped off making it pointless to post.

Annoying

I find it extremely annoying that our blog does not dynamically resize. I'm messing around trying to change that.
Hmmm, got Dynamic Sizing but screwed some other stuff up.
Sorry Dan, I think I killed your link list.

Working Sunday to Thursday

So, I thought it would be the one time in my life I'd work a different five day week and I may learn something.

After two months of it I can safely say that there is no benefit, nothing to be learned, just confusion.

Not Quite Yet Grumpy Old Men

...except maybe AJ.

Happy belated birthday Jimmy! Congrats on being the first to 30. I was looking in the mirror this morning and was slightly astonished at how fast my grey hairs are multiplying. I've also noticed that I seem to be becoming more attractive to women in their 30s and 40s (had a woman say 'yummy' as I ran by her on a trail the other day!!) Not quite so much luck with those in their 20's. Reading XKCD today further reinforced my feelings of age (hover over the comic and read the pop up caption). Raise a beer this weekend, my friends, to ushering in our 30s and making them even better than our 20s.

POV cam of skier surviving an avalanche

This is insane. Guy drops in, avalanche starts, he falls 1,500 ft in the avalanche and is buried, and then 4.5 minutes later he gets dug out.

Arizona Stadium

I was watching Monday Night Football in Arizona, and they showed how the grass field is on wheels and is rolled out of the stadium to receive natural sunlight. It's pretty darn cool.

Which is Nerdier... (cont.)

Or This:

Which is Nerdier....

This:

I know how much Harvey likes interactive maps

Check out the Grand Coulee Dam bitches. Now that's big!
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=110997398

I often think like this...

Good Stuff

Tiger Balls.by Neil Gaiman

You know, one time I saw Tiger down at the water-hole: he had the biggest testicles of any animal, and the sharpest claws, and two front teeth as long as knives and as sharp as blades.
And I said to him, “Brother Tiger, you go for a swim, I’ll look after your balls for you.” He was so proud of his balls. So he got into the water-hole for a swim, and I put his balls on, and left him my own little spider-balls. And then, you know what I did? I ran away, fast as my legs would take me.
I didn’t stop till I got to the next town. And I saw Old Monkey there.
“You lookin’ mighty fine, Anansi,” said Old Monkey.
I said to him, “You know what they all singin’ in the town over there?”
“What are they singin’?” he asks me.
“They singin’ the funniest song,” I told him. Then I did a dance, and I sings:
Tiger’s balls, yeah I ate Tiger’s balls Now aint nobody gonna stop me never at all Nobody put me up against the big black wall ‘Cos I ate Tiger’s testimonials I ate Tiger’s balls.
Old Monkey he laughs fit to bust, holding his side and shakin’ and stampin’, then he starts singin’ “Tiger’s balls, I ate Tiger’s balls,” snappin’ his fingers, spinnin’ around on his two feet.
“That a fine song,” he says, “I going to sing it to all my friends.”
“You do that,” I tell him, and I head back to the water-hole.
There’s Tiger, down by the water-hole, walking up and down, with his tail switchin’ and swishin’ and his ears and the fur on his neck up as far as they can go, and he’s snappin’ at every insect comes by with his huge old saber teeth, and his eye’s flashin’ orange fire.He looks mean and scary and big, but danglin’ between his legs, there’s the littlest balls in the littlest blackest most wrinkledy ball-sack you ever did see.
“Hey Anansi,” he says, when he sees me. “You were supposed to be guarding my balls when I went swimming. But when I got out of the swimming hole, there was nothing on the side of the bank but these little black shrivelled up good-for-nothing spider balls I’m wearing.”
“I done my best,” I tells him, “but it was those monkeys, they come by and eat your balls all up, and when I tell them off, then they pulled off my own little balls. And I was so ashamed I ran away.”
“You’re a liar, Anansi,” says Tiger, “I going to eat your liver!” But then he hears the monkeys coming from their town to the water-hole. A dozen happy monkeys, boppin’ down the path, clickin’ their fingers and singin’ as loud as they could sing:
Tiger’s balls, yeah I ate Tiger’s balls Now aint nobody gonna stop me never at all Nobody put me up against the big black wall ‘Cos I ate Tiger’s testimonials I ate Tiger’s balls.
And Tiger, he growls, and he roars and he’s off into the forest after them, and the monkeys screech and head for the highest trees. And I scratch my nice new balls, and damn they felt good hangin’ between my skinny legs, and I walk on home. And even today, Tiger keeps chasin’ monkeys. So you all rememember: just because you’re small, doesn’t mean you got no power.

Yes, I'm a dork. Yes, I think this is awesome

Amazing Volcano Photo Reveals Shock Wave

Nations Girlfriends Are a Pain in the Ass

Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together'

Check it

Drafted this for Amazon.

Once Again a Bachelor

Yep. A month after moving in together we've called it quits. Amazing how quickly things can change. Anyway, feeling a sense of freedom I didn't realize I had been missing for a while, and am looking forward to some newness in my life.

After 50 Years, Space Monkeys Not Forgotten

Happy Anniversary Space Monkey!

the other day I found myself thinking..

When was it exactly that Eddie Murphy's Career took a down turn. Then I remembered 1986, and yes. That is Rick James bitches!

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

I love XKCD

Seriously, it cracks me up.

Urgent!!!

The CDC has posted a Swine-Flu Specific Questions and Answers document titled “Swine Flu and You” to their

Web site. That document can be retrieved at http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu/swineflu_you.htm.

MMM...Bacon

Oh Baby, Baby

T-Shirt Idea

I think a good idea for a T would be one that just says "Fuck Randy Cohen!"

Tha's a goud wone

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/wherethewildthingsare/

Although I don't really agree with the first line scrawled on the preview, the overall experience of the preview made my shitty afternoon feel much better. It looks like some fun sentimental goodness with some cool eye candy. I just wish the first line was the "capacity" for hope.

Champions

Attack of the Windmills

http://www.xkcd.com/556/

Egypt

Here is a quick album I put together of some of my best photos. Still need to do some labeling, cropping, etc.

http://s92.photobucket.com/albums/l18/timroth79/Egypt/

Very Cool Stop Action Video

I'm sorry, I just love this man

"Martin’s show is more reminiscent of Chappelle’s Show, except without the racial edge—as if Dave Chappelle were a white guy who went to Yale and was obsessed with palindromes."

Timing is Everything
http://nymag.com/arts/tv/profiles/54074/

One thing you have to respect Hippies for...

Is their love of the good brew:

Girls

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=252#comic

New House

Had the inspection today, went smoothly. All that's left is the appraisal. As long as that comes in above our purchase price it is a done deal.

PICTURES

Oh. My. God.

God Bless Capatalism. God Bless it I say.

Don't you just love the British?

Franti and Playstation?

Just saw this on TV and was a bit suprised.

WA # 3 for Ninjas

That's right losers.
We on the west Search for Ninjas more than you guys.
See:
http://laweekly.blogs.com/joshuah_bearman/2009/01/what-state-likes-ninjas-the-most-.html

Regardless of that. You should check this out. It's so damn cool, that I bet some of you probably already know about it:
http://www.google.com/insights/search/#q=%22space%20monkey%22&geo=US&cmpt=q

Damn Oregon gets number one for "space monkey" searches.
The author searching is really cool. Southerners like "Faulkner" are mainly in the south, but then the german "rilke" is searched most in Alaska. What the hell? They look into one of the most influential modern german imagist poets?
For most of the author searches there is is black whole in the middle north. I guess ranchers in Montana still don't have CPUs.
The distribution for Vonnegut is bland, but the timeline feature shows a huge spike of searches in the year of his death. They love artists when they're dead.
The Coen Brothers in 2004 (that's as early as it goes) when we knew they were the shit before everyone else, were dominated by New York and very few searches even happened. Now the whole country is on the band wagon.

Not an Ego thing. Just a new experience.

Slowly turning in a circle in the cafe, I had a slight grin. I was holding a hammer. And this old dude stood next to me. He said, "Are you the artist?"
"Yes."

So far 29 isn't that different from 28

Looking for signs of ass

300 Naked Women Feared Lost In Computer Crash

July 18, 2001 | Issue 37•24

The World's Most Famous Bald Eagle

On televised newscasts and on his Web site, Colbert said he has been disappointed by Stephen Jr.'s excursions to Canada. When Stephen Jr. first crossed into Canadian airspace in August 2006, Colbert noted Junior was feasting on fresh Canadian salmon, looking for Vietnam draft dodgers and stopping terrorist pigeons from crossing the border.

On his Web site, Colbert offers factoids about Stephen Jr., including, "He could take your arm off. Hates pelicans, just like his Dad."

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2008568404_colberteagle29m.html

Bon Iver

NPR is giving him best song of the year.

That's-a-good-one:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=98637616

At first my expectations dropped, then I started to love it about half way.
High then low expectations may just be the secret to joy.

Another MPKism

"Never trust a bar that opens at 10:30 in the morning, unless, of course, it's 10:30 in the morning."

Why?

"Because people that use PCs have jobs."
- Mathew Phillip King

Go

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Wow

I don't know what else to say. Wow.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/barney/barneycam2008.wm.v.html

Hot Pants for Harvey

Come Fools Come all

All right my loris faced friends, it's time to get serious about gathering in February 2009. Ty has mentioned the weekend of 2/6/09 through 2/9/09. No one has said these dates don't work, so I'm going ahead. I'm getting my plane ticket this weekend. Matt just gave me a maybe. Jim said he'd come, but we all know that's BS, so AJ and I are going to hog tie him and send him in a box. So we have Ty, Tim, Ry, AJ, and Jim.

Dan, Chris, and Vinny we need you guys to get on this gravy train to celebrate the birth of TY, Chris, and Tim's engagement.

Joy

Over the past weeks, I have had a peace, a happiness.
Leaping through the night streets like a cracked out ninja swinging my wooden stick, laughing, smiling, dancing, and relaxing.
It comes
not as an arduous trek across a desert,
not as the slow epiphany of a sunrise,
not through her hand on my back,
not from the depths of a dark booze filled well,

not during in a moment of clarity with blood on my lip,
not through a canvass that fills me with pride,
not through work,
but like that beautiful girl, the tease, who enflames my chest and loins, and fills me with hope, but never
promises consistency, dependency, or duration.

For Space Monkey

Obama Pride Floods the Streets of Capitol Hill

Ryan and Jim were there. I got a text from Ryan as my plane pulled up to the gate. Jim called while I was on the tram with a hundred other dehydrated, exhausted people who spent the last 5 hours with me, sitting crammed together, uninformed. I knew it was Jim, but all I could hear was elated screaming. I looked around at the somber faces. My friend Porter led the crowd in the national anthem and his writeup gives a good idea of what I missed.

Winter visits

Hey y'all, there are some cheap tickets to Denver for the weekend of Feb. 7-8, we could celebrate my birthday and belatedly Ry's and Chris's as well. We could also give Timmy a little bachelor party.

And if you haven't been to visit AJ, Ryan, and Jim here's an article about their neighborhood.

Us in a nutshell

I think someone may have already posted this link but it's pretty hilarious. Especially since last Sunday I...:

1. Drank coffee
8. saw Barack Obama
23. Drank a microbrew
12&44. Donated to my local NPR station

and many others

On another note and to further our whiteness, who wants to go skiing this winter, what times would work?

NC Pics

Here are all of my pics from NC. Indoor ones came out blurry for some reason, but it gave a cool effect on this pic at least:

Thanks Harvey

Harvey reminded me of a little project I started but never finished, so thanks to Harvey for inspiring me to further procrastinate from all the other shit I probably should be doing. Enjoy.

From NC Best

Warning

Once Dad gets a hold of this blog he may never again leave the house:
http://futurismic.com/

For example, he might be interested in this little ditty:
http://futurismic.com/2007/09/07/frickin-laser-beams-to-power-japan/

Space Monkey, by contrast, might be more interested in the fiction section.

Regardless, this should help fuel some ridiculous conversations over whiskey and cigars at our next meeting.

This message brought to you by the southwest flight magazine and sent from the Googleplex. Who's the nerd now?

May Result in Sparkle Babies

OMG

Can you get the New Yorker in Canada?

If not, I'm not going...

Pirates?

For Real.

Somali Pirates Tell All: They’re in It for the Money

Irony

irony

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
i·ro·ny1

1. the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.

2. Literature.
a. a technique of indicating, as through character or plot development, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated.
b. (esp. in contemporary writing) a manner of organizing a work so as to give full expression to contradictory or complementary impulses, attitudes, etc., esp. as a means of indicating detachment from a subject, theme, or emotion.

3. ty's irony.
Going to see the Big Lebowski at New Belgium Brewery, which was a memorial for a CSU grad student who was killed by a drunk driver with she was riding her bike this summer. Then in true little achiever fashion managed to drink too many Caucasians and Fat tires, and crashed on my own bike, hitting the sidewalk head first. A fall that should have caused considerable damage. Except that given said drunken state, it merely resulted in loss of skin to my right cheek, a swollen eye, and considerable embarrassment when Anna's parents came to visit this weekend. (I'm a fucking idiot!)

Sarah's got a plan for us

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

Check out Abby on Chicago News

Ha

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_in_photos/inside_obamas_emails

Guy Photographs Himself Everyday for 17 years

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheddar Cheeseburger

Nuff Said.

Aussie, aussie, aussie

http://view.break.com/352629 - Watch more free videos

Ok so this is a joke, but it's pretty funny.

Large Hadron Collider Rap

Seriously guys...I don't think there's anything I like more than science raps. I'm pretty sure there were some good ones back on 3-2-1 Contact. Possibly Mr. Wizard. My internet skills are not good enough to find them.

Make sure you watch at least a minute or so.

Apparently

I'm only blogging about 2 Girls 1 Cup, but I thought this xkcd comic was hilarious.

I snorted my diet coke while watching...

You need to have seen "Two Girls, One Cup" in order to get this. But presumably everyone's cherry has been popped on that front. Enjoy.

Uh oh...

Ratatat

I thought Harvey would like this one...

Not so tough now - Leopard hunts crocodile

On the list of things to do, hunting crocodiles is pretty high up in bad-ass factor. This gives me a new found respect for cats.

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-07/22/content_8744711.htm

I am the Law

Cooter just sent this to me. And I can't stop laughing.
Maybe I should dedicate my life to people of The Onion.
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/no_values_voters_looking_to

And this one is wonderful death penalty goodness:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/supreme_court_rules_death_penalty?utm_source=videomrss_82237

...Which makes no sense, because hanging out is like the easiest thing.

I'm glad none of us have this problem

Post Union Hall

Dan, do you even remember this?

Victor Wooten on NPR

There's a pretty excellent story about Victor Wooten of Bela Fleck fame on NPR. I was going to just send it to Ty since he's a dirty dirty hippy, but then I thought: well i haven't posted on the blog in like 5 years, maybe I should put it there. Enjoy by clicking here!

The website is down!

I'm guessing this is probably not new, but it is absolutely hilarious. Pretty long video, but well worth watching.

http://www.thewebsiteisdown.com/

Hard Choice

It's a little unclear which one I dislike more - the barista or the woman who finds the whole thing "frightening".

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2008/05/20/jung.bikini.coffee.king

This is what happens when I go online to find out the election results.

Local band out of Colorado. Pretty cool song.

http://www.universalmusic.com/premiere-play/Flobots/Handlebars/1534502575

Scrabulous

Heard about this on NPR on friday.

Fuck Grapefruit

"Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts."

Just in time....

just what we all need, a device to allow us to be depressed about the woes of the world in real time

Grays Harbor Paper

One interesting man's vision of a sustainable community, revolving around a paper factory:

http://www.greenbiz.com/news/reviews_third.cfm?NewsID=36519

Also some interesting facts on paper, for example:

According to the EPN's State of the Paper Industry report published in early 2007, paper accounts for 25 percent of landfill waste, the largest single component. It's also a significant contributor to climate change. Forty-two percent of the industrial wood harvest goes to make paper. Nine percent of total manufacturing carbon dioxide emissions come from pulp and paper manufacturing, with the majority stemming from the energy production needed to power pulp and paper mills.

"We don't think about paper, we don't think about printing -- it's about 6 percent of our GDP," said Don Carli, a senior research fellow at the Institute for Sustainable Communications.

Think about that the next time you print one of my blog posts.

And the winner is... (drum roll please)

Exactly who they thought it was 400 years ago! Thanks for wasting our time conspiracy theorists!

This is just like my life

Except instead of a woman in the tree with me I just have a smelly space monkey.

Bloggy Blog Blog

I've finally set aside a couple hours to catch up on blogging and have the following thoughts and discussion topics:

1. What's up with those Circ du soliel rejects. I hope they have day jobs. They should put a generator on that hamster wheel and do something useful with their lives. God damn Hippies. I bet Tyrona loves that smut.

2. Presidential canidates compare themselves to Jebus because everyone loves Jesus, except for people whose votes they don't care about like us and Europeans. Once we get rich and have children we'll get all religious and love candidates that love Jebus. As one politician once said, "if English is good enough for Jesus it's good enough for me". I think the same applies to pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. What do you think?

3. The Hubble telescope is a fascinating and enlightening tool of science. At least they found the error quickly and were able to syphon funds from some program for the poor quickly and repair it. It's not like it veered off course after traveling through space for two years and died a firey death because of the metric system. Further proof that the metric system was devised by satan to tempt us with efficiency, while Jesus clearly loves standard units.

4. Ropes are also very useful. I think street cats are pretty hardcore, whereas mountain lions live the easy life eating rabbits and drinking moonshine.

5. Hmmm... Bananas. The only thing I can say is you should buy less bananas, eat more or learn to make bananabread.

6. I thought of all of those already, but thanks for posting!

7. I only made it half way through the preview so I'm not sure I could make it through the movie. You should all see I am legend and No Country for Old Men. That way when you call me to catch up we'll have something to talk about because, no, I have not caught the latest episode of Entourage. Speaking of Cormac McCarthy, I'm reading Space Monkey's copy of Blood Meridian which he made me read. You should all read it too, and we could start a book club! The description of the Apache's riding across the plane before killing everyone and their horses is pretty great! Sorry I meant "vivid".

8. I have no comment on the fat guy with the books.

9. Christine! Ha! At least you got a second date. I've said it before and I'll say it again - avoid girls with cats.

10. Booze! Booze! Yesssss!

11. Ummmmmmmm......

12. Uhhhh....... 1977 should stay where it belongs. At least the bad part. Remember Led Zeppelin. Those guys rocked. Anyone make it to the reunion? I bet it rocked! "Page dispensed power chords like an aged Thor lobbing down thunderbolts for kicks." Sweet! Hit me, hit me!

13. Sarah Dobson wins the prize for being the first Norah Jones knock off. We need some music that rocks like Kings of Leon. Sure, you can't hear what they're saying half the time but it's rock and roll baby! Hold on tight.

14. I'm tired

15. Polluting the world is bad we should stop doing it. Fortunately, we won't have to worry about the ozone layer anymore once we cover space with solar panels and bombard the earth with microwaves. Cancer be gone, just in time too!

Happy Holidays! Buy my book!