Thanks Harvey

Harvey reminded me of a little project I started but never finished, so thanks to Harvey for inspiring me to further procrastinate from all the other shit I probably should be doing. Enjoy.

From NC Best

Warning

Once Dad gets a hold of this blog he may never again leave the house:
http://futurismic.com/

For example, he might be interested in this little ditty:
http://futurismic.com/2007/09/07/frickin-laser-beams-to-power-japan/

Space Monkey, by contrast, might be more interested in the fiction section.

Regardless, this should help fuel some ridiculous conversations over whiskey and cigars at our next meeting.

This message brought to you by the southwest flight magazine and sent from the Googleplex. Who's the nerd now?

May Result in Sparkle Babies

OMG

Can you get the New Yorker in Canada?

If not, I'm not going...

Pirates?

For Real.

Somali Pirates Tell All: They’re in It for the Money

Irony

irony

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
i·ro·ny1

1. the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.

2. Literature.
a. a technique of indicating, as through character or plot development, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated.
b. (esp. in contemporary writing) a manner of organizing a work so as to give full expression to contradictory or complementary impulses, attitudes, etc., esp. as a means of indicating detachment from a subject, theme, or emotion.

3. ty's irony.
Going to see the Big Lebowski at New Belgium Brewery, which was a memorial for a CSU grad student who was killed by a drunk driver with she was riding her bike this summer. Then in true little achiever fashion managed to drink too many Caucasians and Fat tires, and crashed on my own bike, hitting the sidewalk head first. A fall that should have caused considerable damage. Except that given said drunken state, it merely resulted in loss of skin to my right cheek, a swollen eye, and considerable embarrassment when Anna's parents came to visit this weekend. (I'm a fucking idiot!)

Sarah's got a plan for us

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

Check out Abby on Chicago News

Ha

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_in_photos/inside_obamas_emails

Guy Photographs Himself Everyday for 17 years

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheddar Cheeseburger

Nuff Said.

Aussie, aussie, aussie

http://view.break.com/352629 - Watch more free videos

Ok so this is a joke, but it's pretty funny.

Large Hadron Collider Rap

Seriously guys...I don't think there's anything I like more than science raps. I'm pretty sure there were some good ones back on 3-2-1 Contact. Possibly Mr. Wizard. My internet skills are not good enough to find them.

Make sure you watch at least a minute or so.

Apparently

I'm only blogging about 2 Girls 1 Cup, but I thought this xkcd comic was hilarious.

I snorted my diet coke while watching...

You need to have seen "Two Girls, One Cup" in order to get this. But presumably everyone's cherry has been popped on that front. Enjoy.

Uh oh...

Ratatat

I thought Harvey would like this one...

Not so tough now - Leopard hunts crocodile

On the list of things to do, hunting crocodiles is pretty high up in bad-ass factor. This gives me a new found respect for cats.

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-07/22/content_8744711.htm

I am the Law

Cooter just sent this to me. And I can't stop laughing.
Maybe I should dedicate my life to people of The Onion.
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/no_values_voters_looking_to

And this one is wonderful death penalty goodness:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/supreme_court_rules_death_penalty?utm_source=videomrss_82237

...Which makes no sense, because hanging out is like the easiest thing.

I'm glad none of us have this problem

Post Union Hall

Dan, do you even remember this?

Victor Wooten on NPR

There's a pretty excellent story about Victor Wooten of Bela Fleck fame on NPR. I was going to just send it to Ty since he's a dirty dirty hippy, but then I thought: well i haven't posted on the blog in like 5 years, maybe I should put it there. Enjoy by clicking here!

The website is down!

I'm guessing this is probably not new, but it is absolutely hilarious. Pretty long video, but well worth watching.

http://www.thewebsiteisdown.com/

Hard Choice

It's a little unclear which one I dislike more - the barista or the woman who finds the whole thing "frightening".

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2008/05/20/jung.bikini.coffee.king

This is what happens when I go online to find out the election results.

Local band out of Colorado. Pretty cool song.

http://www.universalmusic.com/premiere-play/Flobots/Handlebars/1534502575

Scrabulous

Heard about this on NPR on friday.

Fuck Grapefruit

"Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts."

Just in time....

just what we all need, a device to allow us to be depressed about the woes of the world in real time

Grays Harbor Paper

One interesting man's vision of a sustainable community, revolving around a paper factory:

http://www.greenbiz.com/news/reviews_third.cfm?NewsID=36519

Also some interesting facts on paper, for example:

According to the EPN's State of the Paper Industry report published in early 2007, paper accounts for 25 percent of landfill waste, the largest single component. It's also a significant contributor to climate change. Forty-two percent of the industrial wood harvest goes to make paper. Nine percent of total manufacturing carbon dioxide emissions come from pulp and paper manufacturing, with the majority stemming from the energy production needed to power pulp and paper mills.

"We don't think about paper, we don't think about printing -- it's about 6 percent of our GDP," said Don Carli, a senior research fellow at the Institute for Sustainable Communications.

Think about that the next time you print one of my blog posts.

And the winner is... (drum roll please)

Exactly who they thought it was 400 years ago! Thanks for wasting our time conspiracy theorists!

This is just like my life

Except instead of a woman in the tree with me I just have a smelly space monkey.

Bloggy Blog Blog

I've finally set aside a couple hours to catch up on blogging and have the following thoughts and discussion topics:

1. What's up with those Circ du soliel rejects. I hope they have day jobs. They should put a generator on that hamster wheel and do something useful with their lives. God damn Hippies. I bet Tyrona loves that smut.

2. Presidential canidates compare themselves to Jebus because everyone loves Jesus, except for people whose votes they don't care about like us and Europeans. Once we get rich and have children we'll get all religious and love candidates that love Jebus. As one politician once said, "if English is good enough for Jesus it's good enough for me". I think the same applies to pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. What do you think?

3. The Hubble telescope is a fascinating and enlightening tool of science. At least they found the error quickly and were able to syphon funds from some program for the poor quickly and repair it. It's not like it veered off course after traveling through space for two years and died a firey death because of the metric system. Further proof that the metric system was devised by satan to tempt us with efficiency, while Jesus clearly loves standard units.

4. Ropes are also very useful. I think street cats are pretty hardcore, whereas mountain lions live the easy life eating rabbits and drinking moonshine.

5. Hmmm... Bananas. The only thing I can say is you should buy less bananas, eat more or learn to make bananabread.

6. I thought of all of those already, but thanks for posting!

7. I only made it half way through the preview so I'm not sure I could make it through the movie. You should all see I am legend and No Country for Old Men. That way when you call me to catch up we'll have something to talk about because, no, I have not caught the latest episode of Entourage. Speaking of Cormac McCarthy, I'm reading Space Monkey's copy of Blood Meridian which he made me read. You should all read it too, and we could start a book club! The description of the Apache's riding across the plane before killing everyone and their horses is pretty great! Sorry I meant "vivid".

8. I have no comment on the fat guy with the books.

9. Christine! Ha! At least you got a second date. I've said it before and I'll say it again - avoid girls with cats.

10. Booze! Booze! Yesssss!

11. Ummmmmmmm......

12. Uhhhh....... 1977 should stay where it belongs. At least the bad part. Remember Led Zeppelin. Those guys rocked. Anyone make it to the reunion? I bet it rocked! "Page dispensed power chords like an aged Thor lobbing down thunderbolts for kicks." Sweet! Hit me, hit me!

13. Sarah Dobson wins the prize for being the first Norah Jones knock off. We need some music that rocks like Kings of Leon. Sure, you can't hear what they're saying half the time but it's rock and roll baby! Hold on tight.

14. I'm tired

15. Polluting the world is bad we should stop doing it. Fortunately, we won't have to worry about the ozone layer anymore once we cover space with solar panels and bombard the earth with microwaves. Cancer be gone, just in time too!

Happy Holidays! Buy my book!

From Conrad's The Shadow-Line

“All my moral and intellectual being is penetrated by an invincible conviction that whatever falls under the dominion of our senses must be in nature, and however exceptional, cannot differ in its essence from all the other effects of the visible and tangible world of which we are a self-conscious part. The world of the living contains enough marvels and mysteries as it is—marvels and mysteries acting upon our emotions and intelligence in ways so inexplicable that it would almost justify the conception of life as an enchanted state. No, I am not firm in my consciousness of the marvelous to be ever fascinated by the mere supernatural which (take it any way you like) is but a manufactured article, the fabrication of minds insensitive to the intimate delicacies of our relation to the dead and to the living, in their countless multitudes; a desecration of our tenderness memories; an outrage on our dignity.”

Maybe not one for the whole family, but

looks like one for us:
http://www.wristcutters.com/

Irregardless

"It is a text-based Chuck Norris, roundhouse-kicking everything else in the dictionary into submission. "
Irregardless of your perfunctory tasks today, you should check out this article: http://crave.cnet.com/8301-1_105-9796217-1.html

Life

You know how they say "life's what happens while you're making plans"? (I hate those people)

I think I'm going to start saying "Life's what your missing while you're checking your email." (I hate myself)

O

Thou Shall Watch This

I like big butts

"women asked what they'd want if they could have any beauty treatment were three times more likely to choose vaginal lip trimming over buttock implants"

I learn something new everyday.

Slates slideshow history of the derriere:

A history of the buttocks, in pictures (of course)

Yukon Ho!

You can see more wacky beauty: http://www.flickr.com/photos/13701559@N04/

Who's this guy think he is?

Applications for biogeochemistry

There is a use for what Iʻm studying. Iʻm working in the lab of the professor from CSU. Unfortunately, the best application for my work is to track down dirty pot smoking hippies. Oh the irony......

What's worse than going to your ex's wedding?

Learning your Ex's pregnent.

Whats' worse than, learning your Ex's pregnent?

Finding out she had the baby and named it Ty.

God damn Ty.

"Got some change...

for a crack rock and some ice cream? Ok, forget the ice cream." Said to me today in Boulder. Silly hippies.

Well, the goddamn Sap isn't going to boil itself

China is always one step ahead of us

China's giant panda centre sees profit in poop

Orcas Island

I blew off job hunting today and went to Orcas island. In Puget Sound, it's about two hour's north of Seattle. I biked up and down breathtaking shores and checked out some starfish and jelly fish as I bobbed around in a kayak. The lady who rented it to me for 18 bucks an hour was this fat, gray, wrinkled, short, happy, hippie/packrat kind of lady whose lawn was full of sea junk, kayaks, odd wood things, lawn sculptors, and many other things we would gladly burn or launch at a school bus. When I kayaked back to her shore, I thought she was a rock in the water, then she popped fully up, clad in a bulging wet suit(perhaps an 18 wheeler's worth of rubber), with a shit eating grin and said she just lost dinner. A massive grab escaped her puggy fingers. She said to just put the money in the wooden box with the label "money box" on top and to take change that I needed. She was still in the water as I opened the box, and I thought about taking the few bucks change. Needless to say I never filled out a waiver or gave her a credit card. I guess she did have my bike if I decided to paddle back to Seattle.
I do think it should be Orca's Island not Orcas.

Get Fuzzy

I said, "Are you guys liberal?" and she goes "Yeah" so I went "Listen, Babe, Call back later, because the guy who lives here will throw more money at you than a Democrat at a gay atheists bake sale."

Words to live by

Aberration:
Ab·er·ra·tion Pronunciation: "a-b&-'rA-sh&n
1 : a departure from what is right, true, correct, etc.
2 : a deviation from the normal or the typical
3 : mental derangement or lapse
4 : Astron. a small apparent change in position of a heavenly body, caused by the orbital motion of the earth and the motion of light rays from body
5 : Optics a) the failure of light rays from one point to converge to a single focus b) an error in a lens or mirror causing such failure
6 : an aberrant individual (Spacemonkey, Harvey)

Antinomy:
an·tin·o·my Pronunciation: an-'ti-n&-mE
1 : a contradiction between two apparently equally valid principles or between inferences correctly drawn from such principles
2 : a fundamental and apparently unresolvable conflict or contradiction (antinomies of beauty and evil, freedom and slavery, work and beer, marriage and hanging out, Aj and nice people, Tim and buying a ring, Matt and phone conversations, Ty and motivation, Dan and Harvey, Jim and a pot of boiling water, Chris and mean people, Vinnie and ugly girls, Ryan and polite society, -- Stephen Holden)

Nintendo?

I started laughing as I applied to this job. I think I just did it, but I'm not sure; it seems so goofy. You should see how my cover letter connects my literay passions to the "infinite creative possibilities of the gaming world." Chris would kill me if got paid write and edit video scripts, manuals, and actually play them. Look at the third bullet on the list.

Nintendo Writer/Editor:

Description of Duties:
-Provides input regarding localizing game content
-Writes, proofs and edits game text, game scripts, instruction manuals, package copy and game summaries
-Tests and evaluates games and products and makes recommendations regarding design and content
-Monitors the progress of Nintendo and licensed products
-Assists other NOA departments with videotaping game play and taking screen shots, providing games, demonstrating games and participating in interviews
-Makes decisions and recommendations regarding localization and text content for games, manuals and other copy
-Up to 10% domestic and international travel

Employed!

For better or worse, I'm once again gainfully employed. I'm the new Inventory Coordinator for a women's clothing company called Fresh Produce based out of Boulder. Sounds boring, but I think it could be a pretty cool job. They're planning on growing a bunch, and I can kind of make the position what I want.

Chilling in a Random Coffee Shop in Idaho

Al Bundy once said, "Lets put all the pregnant women in a state no one is using, like Idaho. We'll call it PregnaHo."
I've been to the south of PrednaHo to climb, and I felt that he was mostly right. Besides some great rocks, the place is barren. Now I sit in laughter and tears in the North and I may feel differently. Driving along 90, I was impressed by the mountains, vegetation, and massive lake. Then I stopped in Coeur d'Alene to see a movie, drink some coffee, and chill after driving many long hours alone. The little town at first seemed quaint and fun, but as I walked among the people wearing cologne and gold and the shinny BMWs, I began to feel like I was in some even more yuppy (is that possible?) version of Martha's Vineyard. Last night I sat on a bench and watched a strange variety of rich white people on vacation from nearby cities. It's on a large lake and seems to be a "summering" place for the upper class. I couldn't even find a bar I felt comfortable enough to enter to have a beer. Odd.
Al may not have known about this place, but I'm sure he'd still like to send all the pregnant women here.
On a much more jubilant note, Glacier National park is skewered by immense stark mountains. Sure I expected the glaciers (which were a little smaller than I had hoped), but I did not expect the beautiful spires of rock. I hiked a rather brutal 9 mile climb to Sperry Glacier and was blown away by the turquoise ponds that form from melting ice with snow and ice trapped underneath the water. Who claims ice always floats?

Dedicated to Mr. Prince of Pee

Cause he's a dork and likes the flute.

Jim

Oh-Be-Joyful

Well boys I'm looking forward to seeing everyone soon. Ryan's pictures inspired me to send a few of my own. These are from my trip to Crested Butte last weekend.

This drop is from Daisy Creek and is affectionately called Rip your Head Off.




This drop is from Oh-be-Joyful Creek, and is called Bajillion Falls. One of my friends went a little too far to the right, and landed on some rocks and had to limp out. I was a little more fortunate.

My March Survey: Rocks: Beer: Utah

Notice Jim's central location on the hood. This is essential climbing prep.

Still simply sipping scenes. Considering climbing.

Guess this is my first V6. Very big deal. That right foot hooks and holds my body against the stone with the heal. It's essential to turn the sloping nothingness, which my left hand desperately chews, into a sloping slightly somethingness.





Finally we must only
worship that which we can taste, touch, and that has holes into which we can put our sausage appendages.

Surface Computing

Although I prefer a hot blonde to take my order, I must admit an interactive table is pretty cool too (and a whole lot smarter).

...what about Dad?

Us 3 boys from Colorado have booked our flight, Jim, Chris, and Dan are in. If Matt doesn't show I'll hunt him down and kill him with my bare hands.

Cornell in a nutshell

Remind you of anyone you know?

AJs Party

Hopefully we can all make it, Ryan and I were talking last night and are definitely going to do what we can. Even if I manage to get a job before then, I'm still coming, so count me in. Good food, good friends... can't beat that.

New York, New York

I've had the rarest of sightings, the rare Matticus Kingus. The migratory specie has taken root in mid-town Manhattan somewhere in the vicinity of 42nd and "Lex", though is believed to roost somewhere in the vicinity of Prospect Park. Sightings have also occured in a few seedy bars in nefarious sections of Brooklyn and the Lower East Side. This sighting has exciting consequencs for science since the species was previously believed to be extinct.

This picture is of interest as the subject is sporting a pink tie and is clean shaven, behavior believed to serve the dual purpose of giving an impression of success in the field of law and feminine style in order to attract perspective mates.

Special thanks to intrepid explorer and amatuer botonist Daniel J. Webb and to Mr. C. Principe for his working knowledge of Wii and his delightful discovery of delicious Israeli food.

Cheerio!

Off to Nam

Well, my pals, tomorrow I'm off to Nam with ten little buggers. If you haven't checked out Regina Spektor, I highly recommend her.

I

Beer Launching Fridge

I love it!


Robotic Beer Launching Refrigerator - The funniest bloopers are right here

Another day at the Office

Given the foot of powder last night, classes were cancelled,
and this is what I did instead of teaching. Too tired from the powder, I had a few beers as I waited for some other teachers to join me. They got stuck and three little frosh girls sat with me while I drank waiting for people born before the nineties.

I am Dumb. what a surprise...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9OfLyiu7Mc

Posting

Not sure what the monkey was talking about...everything works the same for me as it always has.

Posting for the hell of it

Nothing interesting has happened to me lately, except my sewage line collapsing and backing shit up into my house, but I don't even want to talk about that. Just wanted to let Dan know he wasn't alone in our blogosphere.

Cool Discovery

At the risk of redundancy, I have found an even cooler web music site. You can search artists, instantly play them, and the radio station complies an endless list of similar artists. You can rate each song as it plays (skip junk) and the site continually reconfigures the music according to each song you love or loath. It seems to have any obscure artist, even Katie Sawicki.
http://www.pandora.com/

"We'll be scoring heaps of chicks"

Hilarious.

Because I'm just that big of a dork...

I actually felt pretty good about myself solving this.
I'm Althris, pretty far down, the last posting on 1/10/2007

Blizzard 2006.02

A new version of the Colorado Blizzard of '06 being released already!! Who would have thunk it? Unfortunately this time I'm at the folks in St. Louis and am supposed to be flying out to Denver on Saturday. Not likely I'd say. Even if I manage to get in, Vicki drives a Civic, and theres no way that thing is cutting through a foot or two of snow. When I was waiting in the 3 hour line last weekend they said that when they closed the airport down before, they handed out free beer. Maybe there is a silver lining?

Snow Pics

It just keeps snowing

The Colorado Blizzard of '06. It just keeps coming. The city of Denver is totally shut down. I shoveled 3 houses out today, and an hour later it didn't look like I had done a thing. At least its pretty...

Mesmerizing

This should probably be stupid, but damn its catchy...

The Blue Ribbon

Thinking of you...

Caught my eye...

Naked man smoking crack attacked by 11 foot alligator...
Bad day for him, huh.

FABCHANNEL

I have spent multiple nights alone watching free concerts here: http://www.fabchannel.com/
You should at least check out The Presidents of the USA at the Pardiso. I can not believe what he does for song 7 and 18 not to mention Froggy and Kitty. I have never seen such a cool concert.

Thanksgiving

Probably a little late, but it just occured to me that I don't know if any of us mentioned this to the rest of you guys. Ryan, Ty, and I are doing Thanksgiving in Fort Collins. If any of your plans fall through, etc, hop on stand by on a red eye sometime before then and get the hell out here. I aint doing shit for most of the next week and a half.

Stranger Than Fiction

This movie didn't get the best reviews, but I loved it. Definitely recommend seeing it. Very few movies have me laughing out loud, but I and most of the audience was. It was good witty, intelligent comedy.

Oh no...

Britney and K-fed are splitting up! Whatever will we gossip about now girls! Stupid tabloids. Kevin apparently doesn't understand the concept of birth control as he is up to a total of four kids by two mothers...that anyone knows about.

Full Disclosure

Saw this at a short film festival. I think it's well worth the $2 on iTunes. It's clever and well written.

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewMovie?id=197994755&s=143441

We the people

As snow falls more and more in Steamboat,

we the people support fossil fuels and climate change.

IQ != Success

So, in my normal procrastinating way I was reading stuff online and came across the site Tickle.com which gives an IQ test. I did it and got a 138. I thought to myself, that's pretty high, but what exactly does it mean. So I search for an IQ scale and found one that said 130-140 is very intelligent, just below genius level which starts between 140-145. So I'm feeling pretty good about myself and then I read below "...but IQ should not be given too much weight as studies show self discipline is a much better indicator of success." I am so screwed.

il telefono

“The first sensation this book should convey is what I feel when I hear the telephone ring; I say “should” because I doubt that written words can give even a partial idea of it: it is not enough to declare that my reaction is one of refusal, of flight from this aggressive and threatening summons, as it is also a feeling of urgency, intolerableness coercion that impels me to obey the injunction of that sound, rushing to answer even though I am certain that nothing will come of it save suffering and discomfort. Nor do I believe that instead of an attempted description of this state of the spirit, a metaphor would serve better—for example, the piercing sting of an arrow that penetrates a hip’s naked flesh.”
-Calvino

I don't Love Virgnia

Here's a picture I took in the Shenandoahs. It's just like Tim's picture except:
1. They're Deer
2. They're closer
3. They're too busy eating to pose for my stupid picture

I love Colorado...

because I can go see this for an afternoon. Elk mating season up in Rocky Mountain National Park. Click the image to see the whole album.

AHHHH Purdy

Say what you will about AJ, but don't ever question the man's ability to cook meat.

it's just so good...when it hits your lips!

"Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

So much to do.
So little time.

The Armor of God.....Pajamas

Nothing about this really seems wrong, except for the feeling i get looking at the picture. Children crusaders and bible thumpers. Freaks me out.

CSU Fight Song

CSU sings this song called Fum's Song along with an old guy (Fum) on video during football games. It's been banned this year to much argument. Interestingly, Cornell is in the song. I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's for the rhyme.

I'll sing you a song of college days
And tell you where to go.
Aggies where knowledge is,
Boulder spends your dough.

CC for your sissy boys,
Utah for your times,
DU for your ministers,
For drunkards, Shcool of Mines.

Don't send my boy to Wyoming U.,
A dying mother said.
Don't send my boy to Utah State,
I'd rather see him dead.

But send him to the ole Aggies,
'Tis beter than Cornell,
But rather than in Boulder,
I would see my boy in hell!

Little Miss Sunshine

Though I wouldn't want to raise your expectations and thus ruin the experience, I recommend seeing this film. Surely a big screen is not necessary; you could wait for netflicks, but are you really going to remember? Is there really anything else out there right now? Factoid looks fun, but it won't come to my little town soon. This little film has great cartoon like characters and some wonderfully dark humor.
But you know me. What film wouldn't I love that begins with a girl hugging her brother after a suicide attempt and saying, "I'm so glad you're still with us."
He says, "That makes one of us."

For Matt with Love

"Some physicists have even proposed that it isn't the amount and type of matter in the universe that needs to be adjusted, it's the law of gravity itself. They have suggested alternative theories that boost the strength of gravity on galactic and intergalactic scales in order to do away with the need for dark matter."

Irrefutable proof my ass. What a load of crap!

Trial

Vicki had sentencing in this crazy trial she prosecuted a few weeks ago.

In Another Life

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4107678319738298617